This week, although today's merely the 2nd day of the week, hasn't been too positive for me...Feeling under the cloud...Literally, as dark clouds cover the Lewiston sky, ominously signalling the return of Winter...I hate it. It's too cold, the cold pierces through the skin, penetrates the heart, freezes it and never lets it regain the warmness it used to enjoy..

Looking at some updates recently, particularly from social networking sites and forums, it's just difficult for me to conjure a smile...Every laughter is heavy, so heavy that it feels like my shoulders are collapsing under the weight, pulling down all the remaining slither of happiness I have....Time shoots through like a bullet, passing by and leaving traces of scar on your battered soul, never able to mend..A broken heart is just that, a broken heart. You can't, it's not possible to mend a broken heart just as you can't join a cracked glass together and hope that it'll be a flawless, immaculate beautiful glass that you used to sip from, together with your loved ones..

It was a downward spiral from the beginning..

I chose this path, and I have to accept what comes. Accountability, responsibility, self-reliance...All traits that I do not possess, of which I'm willing to improve on. But will there be enough time? Slipping through my fingers, I struggled to keep on, but there's just not enough substance and strength from inside me to persevere. My hands are cold, and sweaty, and my heart's pumping faster than ever, probably even faster than doing my regular cardio workouts that I'm obliged to obey..

No one is perfect, and everything is either a dream or a goal.. But I apologize for choosing dream over goal..

Life, has to go on.....